Wednesday, April 04, 2007 Y
mon ..
didnt do wad my mum wants .. which ish pin up my hair .. thn i jz normal .. thn come h0me .. she asked i g0rt pin up n0rts .. i said .. no .. didnt want tuu lie tuu her .. even though i noe tt i will kana scolded .. thn expected .. scold scold scold .. dun care her .. jz block my ears wif the earphones .. do hwk .. thn i f0rg0rt tuu take my pe shirt out let her wash .. thn kana .. scold .. say wad i giv her trouble wadeva crap .. wad i lazy .. wah lau !! cann0rt forget arRs ? euu can hav perfect memory mehhs ? jz tis stupid shirt .. y must scold until lyk tt ? imagine if someone were tu scold euu coz of a mistake euu didnt mean , h0w will euu feel ? and scold until so insulting .. will euu lyk it ?! thn kana scolded by shoes .. wah lau .. literally everything tt she sees tt ish mine .. she jz scold luhhs .. everything bout me .. everything tt i do ish wrong ..
tues ..
morning , kana scolded by her .. again . coz of shirt .. wadeva . thn she call my father tuu see whether my hair g0rt pin up .. wah lau .. wadeva .. thn she say wad i getting worse .. ok wadeva !! thn say wad if i wan tuu continue lyk tt .. no need go sk0ol .. wad the .. thn if i wan tuu lie tuu her .. go ahead .. i can in sk0ol do wadeva i wan .. but thn few weeks time she call f0rm tcher .. check .. WAH LAU !!! if i was tt bad .. until i lie tuu her .. thn i w0uldnt hav t0ld her i didnt pin up my hair .. thn kana her sc0ld luhhs !! thn wad check .. of c0urse tcher will keep saying the unif0rm tis and tt and wadeva crap larrs !! i rdy tried my best .. i jz cant be tt gooddy gurl euu want me tuu be .. cant euu jz let me off ?! it's n0rt as if i neglect my studies .. thn my mum said something very very hurting .. say i wear till lyk tt .. ish tuu .. wadeva larrs !! thn go car .. father .. scold me .. tis ish the scary part .. c0z he seldomn sc0ld 1 .. thn once he sc0ld .. ish very very scary one .. ok .. thn .. shld noe wad happened . thn hav tuu tug in lyk kuku .. pin up hair .. thn reach sk0ol . cant st0p pulling on the shirt luhhs .. after the assembly .. i immediately pull luhhs !! thn so much beta . go h0me .. mum nvr say anything .. coz i after sj .. cann0rt comment anything b0ut my sj t-shirt .. xD . thn at night .. spared frm scolding .. but still cold shoulder .. ok fine .. wadeva .. i am trying my best liaos .. y cant euu jz see it ? i changed so so so much !! i didnt mind bout th0se stupid and hurting stuff .. i didnt argue back even whn i noe tt euu are wrong .. i didnt say anything .. jz let euu rattle off at my ear .. i tell euu the truth even whn i noe i am gonna be scolded .. jz tuu satisfy euu .. y arent euu satisfy yet ?! cant euu see tt i am trying so hard ? jz tuu be tt go0dy gurl tt euu want ? i am n0rt tt .. i jz cant .. y cant euu jz spare me ? wad's wrong wif me being lyk tis ?! at night .. keep listening tuu ipod .. jz tuu avoid wadeva hurting stuff she ish saying .. pretend tuu ignore her .. but in e morning .. without my ipod .. i cant stop myself frm hearing wadeva she ish saying no matter h0w hard i ignore her .. i pretend tuu treat her invisible by stirring my milk in the morning .. oso kana scolded !! wah lau ..wadeva i do ish wrong and irritating .. everything oso need euu comment and scold 1 luhhs !! thn coz of tt "best" ptm .. gotta go fer maths tution .. every thurs.. time dunno yet .. my fwen's mum ..
wed ..
today .. ok .. cold shoulder .. at least .. the scary father whom i saw .. it's bak tuu his n0rmal self .. or else .. i dunno h0w i can survive the mornings .. coz sis every morning giv me attitude .. for no apparent reason .. ok .. so my mornings .. are jz crap .. father at car .. say me .. wadeva .. ok .. at least he didnt scold .. or else .. i really break down again liaos .. he scold ish really really very scary .. guess now the only thing tt can cheer me up ish sk0ol barrs .. but thn .. school oso remind me or attire and stuff .. thn will think of th0se words .. thn whn wan go home tt time jiu sian diaos .. thank god i today no need so early go home .. after enrichment still g0rt lessons .. thn no need so fast face her .. coz i noe .. i see her one time .. if n0rt scoldings. . thn jiu cold shoulder .. i felt tt she ish lyk .. so childish luhhs .. must i follow her ? jz tis thing .. oso must follow tuu her will marRs ? my father oso nth liaos .. euu still lyk tis .. gou you zi mar ? thn sometimes tok tuu me normally .. thn nx min .. giv me tt face .. tt cold shoulder .. makes me really very very hard tuu react euu noe .. i am doing smt tt i am forced tuu .. trying tuu satisfy euu .. wad more euu want ?! euu say sheena tug in fully .. i compare .. it's the same as me !! jz tt i dunno y she seems tuu tug in more thn me .. ok .. she's tall .. thn ? it doesnt mean i nvr lehhs .. reasonable abit kayys ? anyways .. i tried rdy .. i really dunno wad more euu wan .. euu making me confused and dunno wad tuu do .. n0w going h0me ish dreadful .. only my dad ish nice .. but i nvr noe whn ish he going tuu change again .. c0z i am afraid of the other side .. jz stop all these ok ? thn coming fri till sun got tuu go malaysia .. i dunno h0w i survive .. wif all these .. maybe i shld jz isolate myself .. stay our of ur view .. tuu spare me frm th0se scoldings ..
